I closed my eyes
Praying – just like everyday .
Wishing I never wake up ever again .
Humgry for freedom I pray ,
To a god who made me an atheist ;
For hope is merely a prolonged death sentence .
You hug me tight ,
As I get up in the middle of the night ,
Shivering out of yet another nightmare to the same old nightmare ;
Reassuring in vain that reality is dynamic unlike my dreams.
‘One day love . One day things will really change. ‘
I look out my window watching dark clouds squander across the night sky.
Mocking me to come get them .
Do you know what comes next?
Rain floods my eyes as pain courses through every inch of my heart .
Muffling my screams as I whimper in frustration raging through all my veins.
I’m a prisoner in my own house , my own body .
You tell me it’s gonna be okay :
As I sink into a nervous breakdown .
I suffocate and as I’m about to surrender-
I feel hands clutched around me,
Strong and confident hands pulling me out.
“It’s you again !” I say
You smile at me and tell me that you love me ,
You tell me I’m strong too .
“Who are you?” I ask
And then the lightning strikes
The voices too loud that locked me up here ,
Reminding me of how miserable I truly am.
I open my eyes and you were gone-
No. You were taken away !
I remember I’m merely a prisoner .
Prisoners are filthy and unloved eternally.
I see a shattered mirror where I first met you.
I realised you were me but only a reflection
And somehow you were stronger.
But alas my only companion ;
Now even you’re gone.
(Artwork taken from shutterstock)
Honest Paradise 